What Type of Hair Do Men Like?

As a general rule, I never take girls out to the club.

And no, it’s not because I visit those dingy clubs in downtown Nairobi. Not that there’s anything wrong with dingy clubs in downtown Nairobi, besides your phone, wallet and shoes mysteriously disappearing, they are perfectly sane clubs.

I’m just not big on bringing sand to the beach… but I digress. [Let me set the scene] Sunday evening finds me in a yuppie club in Nairobi with my two good friends. Sequestered next to them are two beautiful women. One of them has a walnut complexion, short and grounded physique with buxom hips and small breasts. She has thick flowing hair that you can lose a fridge in. Whenever she turns, her hair does a slow seductive jig on her shoulders and my friend can’t seem to get enough of it, he keeps losing his hand in it.

The other is light with killer long legs and she knows they’re killer long legs because she’s dressed in a skirt no bigger than a handkerchief. She looks like those Victoria’s Secrets models. If women were categorized according to food – she would be dessert. The kind with lots of chocolate and a cherry on top. The kind that is bad for your health but you can’t help but indulge. She has a short weave, and I only know it’s a weave because I have seen her eyeballing her dark smartphone screen to see whether it’s still intact.

We’re chattering like broken records when Miss Victoria’s Secret blurts out,

“I wish I had long hair. What type of hair are you guys attracted to?”. And that, my friends, is how a perfectly good evening turns into a vanity expo.

To most of us, besides stroking our goatee and talking about football, looking at a woman is our favorite pastime. We love looking at the contours of your body, from the voluptuous lift in your chest, the dip in your waist, to your delectable derrière, all creating the illusion of an hourglass.

We love your hair, God knows we never know if it’s a weave or human hair, whether it’s been tonged or relaxed, whether it’s natural or unnatural (if that’s the opposite of natural) but we like how it smells, its texture and how you’re always obsessed with it. Oftentimes, it never matters how long or short it is. What matters to us is your style. Style takes nothing and makes something. Style makes green pants and a yellow weave seem appropriate. Style cannot be mimeographed. Style is what makes us pick you over the next girl.